Hey friend,

It’s been a pretty tough week so far; the startup has been pacing but not at the pace that I want; that’s pretty much every week though, right?

Despite my experience I still find it difficult to manage my own psychology from day-to-day and I can mentally thrash from one extreme to the next. The oscillations do not always cause damage but they can be jarring.

These moments usually “wake me up” in one area of the venture that I’ve been hitting the proverbial snooze button on and then I vigorously (re?)focus my attention only to realize that nothing is how I want it to be!

Maddening. Absolutely… fucking… maddening.

As startup founders we know that what we focus on gets improved… usually at the cost of everything else. When I was younger I would get upset at my inability to manage all ops simultaneously and I would often /ragequit through the reset.

Now, I simply “push pause” and move the pieces around. If I have to (temporarily) “shut off” certain parts of the business so that the other parts can get the time and attention it needs, then, I’ll do it.

I have to keep reminding myself that there isn’t a “right way” to do a startup; all you have are the systems and workflows that you’ve built, either intentionally or organically. Make sure you allow just enough room for the organic systems to advise and color the ones that you’ve already designed; your staff will show you the way.

I’m trusting my gut and my instincts more these days; allowing myself to lean-in more fully to the reality that I am — truly — the captain of my own ship. I don’t really have anyone that’s fundamentally waiting on me and I don’t have to wait around for anyone either.

I just need to do what I need to do to survive; today and the rest of the week.

To infinity & community,

— john